Wednesday, May 30, 2012

OMG! Ghana

OMG! Ghana


Asante Kotoko To Present Trophy To Asantehene

Posted: 30 May 2012 03:30 PM PDT

Asante Kotoko To Present Trophy To Asantehene

asantehene-osei-tutu-iiThe Asante Kotoko team will present their Premier League trophy to the Asantehene Otomfuo Osei-Tutu II on Thursday at the Manhyia Palace. The Porcupine Warriors were officially crowned 2011/2012 champions in a colourful ceremony on Sunday after a 1-0 win over Tema Youth on the last day of competition at the Baba Yara Stadium in Kumasi.

It is the 21st time and the first in four years the Reds are being crowned winners of the Ghana top flight; making them the most successful club in the history of Premier League. The team will thus present the title to the King of the Ashanti Kingdom, who also doubles as the life patron of the club, and also seek his blessing for their campaign in next season's CAF Champions League.

“The Executive Chairman (Dr. KK Sarpong) will lead the team to present the league trophy to the Asantehene and life patron of the club at the palace on Thursday,” the clubs spokesman Listowell Yesu Bukarson told MTNFootball.com We will also seek audience from the King and his blessing as the club storms Africa for the first time in four years.”

Kotoko won this season’s league with four games to spare and amassed 63 points suffering only three defeats after 30 rounds of matches.


Victor Smith Orders Arrest of Kade Krontihene

Posted: 30 May 2012 03:15 PM PDT

Victor Smith Orders Arrest of Kade Krontihene

the ghana policeThe Eastern Regional Minister Victor Smith has ordered the arrest of the Krontihene of Kade Nana Benchie Darko-Ampem and the proposed new Chief and their accomplices following renewed chieftaincy clashes in the area which also contravenes earlier agreement between the Regional Security Council and the disputing factions.

A Police Officer who allowed Nana Benchie Darko-Ampem to use his mobile phone while in custody to enable him make inciting comments on a Private Radio station has also been arrested by the Eastern Regional Police Command for unprofessional conduct and is likely to face interdiction.

The disputing Kade Chieftaincy factions in a meeting with the Regional Security Council and the DCE for Kwaebibirem District last month, were advised to follow laid down procedures if they consider Nana Agyari Tenadu II unfit to be the chief of Kade which they all agreed.

However, the opposing faction led by the Krontihene, one Nana Benchie Darko Ampem paraded Nana Debra Twum the proposed Chief through the Kade Township in an attempt to introduce him to the people as their newly installed chief which prompted the orders by the Regional Minister for the arrest of the two and their accomplices.

Sources at the Regional Police Command however reveal that the Queenmother for Kade and the Abusua Payin who were also integral part of the misunderstanding and have been on the run since the arrest of the Krontiihene and the proposed new chief have been arrested and placed in police custody, pending appearance in court.

The Queenmother was accosted by the Regional Police Command when she tried to visit her accomplices in custody in disguise on early Tuesday Morning.  The Abusua Payin was also said to have been arrested few hours after the arrest of the Queenmother, bringing the arrest to four. They will both be arraigned before court on Friday.


OMG! Baby dumped in KVIP (Photo)

Posted: 30 May 2012 03:00 PM PDT

OMG! Baby dumped in KVIP (Photo)

BABY KVIPA NEWBORN baby with its umbilical cord still attached was found in a pit of a KVIP at Bekwai in the Ashanti Region on Sunday morning. The infant, who has since been christened Derrick Nyamekye Donko by hospital authorities at the Bekwai Government Hospital, was found in a shopping bag made of fertilizer sack inside a pit of a KVIP at Nampansa, a suburb of Bekwai.

A plumbery staff of the hospital, whose name was only given as Eric, discovered the baby around 6:00am on Sunday while scavenging rubbish at the toilet facility where he had gone to work, a Senior Nursing Officer at the maternity ward told DAILY GUIDE.

Odette Anaba said the abandoned baby, with the exception of its orifices, was covered in human faeces and maggots, and still had its umbilical cord attached when he was rescued from the pit of the KVIP. The infant is currently in good condition and is now eating, Dr. Nana Yaw Manu, Medical Superintendent of the Bekwai Government Hospital told DAILY GUIDE.

According to him, the Social Welfare Department was planning to take custody of the baby for further action. Dr. Manu said the case was reported to the police for investigations to be done and the parents of the abandoned baby discovered. An eyewitness who spoke to the paper on condition of anonymity disclosed that the abandoned baby was discovered by a scavenger when he was trying to get rid of the refuse dumped at the toilet facility.

"I believe that the abandoned baby is a lucky child. The baby was found in one of the holes of the KVIP, probably shortly after he was dumped. It was here at the hospital that the baby was finally cleaned up and his umbilical cord removed," the Senior Nursing Officer had earlier stated.

She narrated that while Eric was trying to bring out a bag from the pit, he realized it was heavy and to his surprise detected some movement. According to Ms. Odette Anaba, the plumber, out of curiosity, looked inside the bag and saw the baby.

DAILY GUIDE gathered that the man alerted some residents who assisted him to take the baby to the Bekwai Government Hospital.


Korle-bu Junior doctors declare strike

Posted: 30 May 2012 02:45 PM PDT

Korle-bu Junior doctors declare strike

Doctors strikeJunior doctors at the Korle Bu Teaching Hospital have declared an indefinite strike, effective today. The action is to back the doctors' demand for adequate security at the hospital following the death of their colleague Desmond Kabbah under bizarre circumstances. The doctors gave a 24-hour ultimatum to the hospital authorities yesterday to address their security concerns but they are unimpressed with management’s efforts.

The leader of the junior doctors, Justice Yankson confirmed the strike in an interview with Joy News' Dzifa Bampoh. He said members are living in fear with some completely deserting their flats. Yankson said what happened to their colleague could easily have happened to anyone of them and are disappointed that 48 hours after the incident no concrete effort has been made by management to improve security at their flats.

"The most important thing is that our members are now living in fear, most of them have deserted the houseman flats and the other junior doctors on the compound of Korle-bu are also threatened because you never know who will enter your room be it at the doctor's flats or any part of the compound when you are going to work.

"What has happened to our colleague, very unfortunate as it is could befall any of us and that is why the junior doctors association decided at their meeting today that they are going to throw their weight behind the earlier strike that had been embarked on by the house officers because the management of Korle-bu failed to meet their demand for adequate security," he said.

According to him, as at 5:30 am there was no security personnel at post as promised by management.

“The good minded people of Ghana who are parents most of them have called their wards to go back home till the situation gets back to normal. The truth is people are in fear; people are living in a state of panic and nobody wants to go through such a situation. The security situation has to be beefed up,” he demanded.


Torres on target as Spain sink South Korea

Posted: 30 May 2012 02:27 PM PDT

Torres on target vs South KoreaFernando Torres celebrated his return to the Spain team with a first half goal as the World and European Champions continued their preparation for Euro2012 with a 4-1 win over South Korea.

Fresh from capturing the Champions League with Chelsea, Torres’ fortunes appear to be turning after what was generally a poor campaign where he scored just eleven goals and was dropped from the Spain squad in February.

Following an anxious wait he was included in the Spain squad by coach Vicente Del Bosque which will travel to Poland next week and it was he who got the opening goal after eleven minutes in the friendly against the South Koreans in Bern, Switzerland.

“I’m feeling good at the moment both physically and mentally. Training is going well and now I’m looking forward to the competition. Sometimes when you are not involved and things are not going well it helps you to see the bigger picture and evaluate your position,” said Torres.

“It is a reward for me to be here and I am going to take the opportunity and try and make the most of it. It has been a difficult time but hopefully that is now in the past.”

In a relaxed atmosphere, with Spain still without their Barcelona and Athletic Bilbao contingent who were involved in the King’s Cup final last week, South Korea equalised through Kim Do-Heon, two minutes before half time.

After the interval goals by Xabi Alonso, from the penalty spot, Santi Cazorla and Alvaro Negredo assured a comfortable win in the end for Spain.

It was a stern test for the Koreans, who famously knocked Spain out in the quarter-finals of the 2002 World Cup on penalties, but it served as a useful warm up game with important World Cup qualifying matches against Qatar and Lebanon ahead.

Del Bosque anticipated a hardworking Korea side who would look to press and close them down saying it could be something similar to what they could expect from their Group C rivals Republic of Ireland at the European Championships next month.

But it did not seem that way as Spain quickly asserted themselves.

Alonso caused danger to the Korean goal with a 25-yard strike after nine minutes which was parried behind for a corner by keeper Kim Jin-Hyeon but a couple of minutes later Spain got the breakthrough. Benat Etxebarria sent a deep cross from the left which Torres headed over the keeper and into the top corner.

Cazorla had another drive repelled by Jin-Hyeon before South Korea settled and Son Heung-Min fired a whisker wide after 20 minutes. Spain dropped their level as the first half progressed and paid for their lethargy as Do-Heon hit an excellent equaliser from distance before the break.

Following the restart Alonso restored Spain’s advantage from the penalty spot after Cho Yong-Hyung charged down a Nacho Monreal shot with his arm and a clever free-kick from Cazorla, after 55 minutes, went under the wall and deceived the keeper.

Sevilla striker Negredo wrapped up the scoring eleven minutes from the end.

Source: Yahoo Sports

 


Pep Guardiola To Meet Roman Abramovich

Posted: 30 May 2012 02:00 PM PDT

Pep Guardiola To Meet Roman Abramovich

Chelsea may yet get their wish to bring in Pep Guardiola as the new manager, according to Wednesday’s papers.

Contrary to Tuesday’s reports that the former Barcelona coach will take a year-long sabbatical in New York with his family, The Sun reports that Guardiola now wants a face-to-face meeting with Roman Abramovich to hear from the horse’s mouth what is on offer at Stamford Bridge should he shelve his plans to put his feet up for 12 months.

Guardiola would become one of the best-paid coaches in the world if he takes the job, but the true dealbreakers have nothing to do with money: among the assurances and enticements being dangled in front of Guardiola is a guarantee that there will be no pressure at all to win trophies in his first two seasons in charge, thus allowing him time to reshape the club from the ground up.

And a Chelsea source tells the paper that the Russian oil tycoon will do whatever it takes at the face-to-face meeting to bring Guardiola on board: “If it takes a big meeting with Abramovich to get the deal done, that’s what must happen,” the source said.

Chelsea may yet get their wish to bring in Pep Guardiola as the new manager, according to Wednesday's papers. - 2 The other big management job currently vacant is at Liverpool, and speculation is mounting that the Reds will make a fresh approach to Swansea manager Brendan Rodgers after Roberto Martinez declined their offer to take over the running of the first team at Anfield.

Just about every paper in the country – among them The Sun, the Daily Telegraph, Daily Mirror and the Daily Mail – claim that the Northern Irishman is odds-on to land the job, with the Mail claiming that Rodgers will be installed by the end of the week.

The Times strikes a note of caution, warning that it will all come down to whether Swansea want to cash in on the £5 million compensation clause written into the former Chelsea coach’s contract.

None of this means that Martinez will stay at Wigan, however: the Telegraph reports that despite the Spaniard’s talks with Liverpool breaking down he is still off, with Aston Villa to step in and make him an offer he can’t refuse.

The manager’s job at West Brom isn’t so much a hotseat as a lukewarm stool, but that job looks set to be taken as well with the Daily Mail reporting that former Stuttgart and Schalke coach Ralf Rangnick is to take over following previous boss Roy Hodgson’s elevation to the England role.

Over on the continent Gazetta delle Sport report that Manchester City will make a move to sign Wesley Sneijder from Inter Milan.

City are apparently a bit sore on missing out on Eden Hazard, and want to land the Dutch star to be their marquee signing this summer to ensure they keep up their momentum from last season. No doubt the fact that Sneijder has been coveted by Manchester United boss Alex Ferguson for two years will come into the decision as well.

Tottenham are to try to sign Demba Ba from Newcastle United by expoiting the striker’s release clause, according to the Telegraph.

The Senegal star was one of the revelations of last season after arriving from West Ham on a free transfer last summer, and Spurs are considering making a £7m bid which would automatically allow the 26-year-old to leave. Considering that his barnstorming season more or less ground to a halt when Papiss Cisse arrived at St James’ Park in the January transfer window, there is every chance that it’ll be bye-bye Ba.

The Telegraph reports that Porto have given permission for Hulk’s agent to speak to Chelsea about a potential £40m move, with the 25-year-old Brazilian – who scored 21 league goals last season – apparently set on a move away from Portugal.

Chelsea may yet get their wish to bring in Pep Guardiola as the new manager, according to Wednesday's papers. - 3 In other transfer gossip Sunderland are keen on signing Adam Johnson from Manchester City (Daily Mirror), Premier League new boys Reading will have a £15m transfer war chest this summer after the club was taken over by Russian tycoon Anton Zingarevich (The Sun), West Ham are to talk to former Bolton goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen (Daily Mail), Everton want to sign Peterborough’s £2m-rated forward Paul Taylor (The Sun), Newcastle are scouting Lille right-back Mathieu Debuchy (Daily Mail), Fulham are making a new bid to sign Belgian winger Nacer Chadli from FC Twente for around £9m (The Sun) and Ledley King will be offered a one year, pay-as-you-play deal by Tottenham (Daily Mirror).

And finally, the Daily Star’s front page carries a truly madcap story claiming that Polish police snipers have been instructed to gun down fans who riot during matches at Euro 2012.

It’s not so much the clearly untrue story – seriously – but the picture that illustrates it which tickled us, which purportedly shows an image of a masked thug brandishing a knife. We’d bet good money that the ‘Polish thug’ is actually one of the Star’s staffers with a pair of old underpants on his head wielding a kitchen knife bought from Wilkinson’s for £3.99.

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Nominees announced for Glo Premier League awards

Posted: 30 May 2012 01:48 PM PDT

Nominees announced Glo 2011/2012 awardsThe contenders for this year’s Glo Premier League awards for the best performers of the 2011-12 season were announced today at a press conference held at the headquarters of the Ghana Football Association.

The candidates for the Most Valuable Player of the Premier League were also announced with Emmanuel Baffour, Daniel Nii Adjei and Emmanuel Clottey competing for the flagship prize.

All the awards will be presented at the Glo Premier League awards night which will be held in Kumasi for the first time on 16th June 2012.

Fans can contribute to deciding the winners by voting for their favourite nominees through a special Glo short code 1437.

Below are the nominees for the various awards

Best Defender

Edward Kpodo – Berekum Chelsea

Awal Mohammed – Asante Kotoko

Rashid Sumaila – Ebusua Dwarfs

Best Goalkeeper

Soulama Abdulaye – Asante Kotoko

Robert Dabuo – Wa All Stars

Ernest Sowah – Berekum Chelsea

Most Valuable Player

Emmanuel Baffour – New Edubiase

Daniel Nii Adjei – Asante Kotoko

Emmanuel Clottey – Berekum Chelsea

Most Promising Player

Eli Agbeko – Mighty Jets

Joshua Oninku – Tema Youth

Baba Abdul Rahman – Asante Kotoko

Best Coach

Bashiru Hayford – Medeama

Yaw Acheampong – AshantiGold

Maxwell Konadu – Asante Kotoko

Goal-King

Emmanuel Baffour – (21 Goals)

Best CEO

Mr. Kudjoe Fianoo – AshantiGold

Dr. K.K Sarpong – Asante Kotoko

Mr. Obed Nana Nketiah – Berekum Chelsea

Best Referee

William Agbovi

John Atikese

Theresa Bremansu

Best Assistant Referee

Dawood Quedraogo

David Laryea

A. S Malik

Best Behaved Supporting Group

(Tema) Youth
(Wa) All Stars
(Kpando) Heart Of Lions

Best PLB Cameraman

Ohene Agyei
Emmanuel Offei
Herbert Semakor

Best Match Commissioner

Lenear Addy
Asante Boateng
M. Arthur-Dadzie

Source: ghanafa.org


The fans no team would want

Posted: 30 May 2012 01:45 PM PDT

Schalke fan Hitler, Chelsea fan Mugabe and Dynamo Moscow fan Stalin

With Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe admitting this weekend that he is a Chelsea fan, we take a look at the despots who have – or had – a soft spot for a football team.

Mugabe’s revelation came at the weekend when he told Benjani Mwaruwari that he was a Blues fan at the player’s testimonial. ” I watched you but I’m a Chelsea fan and always want them to score,” Mugabe said.

Here’s our pick of some other dictators and tyrants and the teams they supported:

- – - – - -

Adolf Hitler – Schalke: The Fuhrer was reputedly a fan of Schalke, who won the German title six times while Hitler was in charge of Germany. The club later disputed this claim after it was repeated in The Times a few years ago, with a brilliant statement puncturing once and for all the myth that Germans struggle to master humour: “We were very curious to find out what made the well respected Times claim this as a fact. So we checked and double-checked whether the club board between 1933 and 1945 had named a stand the ‘Führer Stand’, for example, and we watched every episode of ‘Allo ‘Allo in a bid to find a clue. Nothing.”

Idi Amin – Hayes FC: The Ugandan dictator became a fan of Hayes as a result of his years spent in the British army (in which he served for 15 years) where he was deeply impressed by a colleague who constantly talked up the achievements of the non-league West London club.

Colonel Gaddafi – Liverpool: Among the artefacts found after the fall of the Libyan leader was a Liverpool mug, leading some to claim that Gaddafi was a fan of the Reds. The idea isn’t actually all that far-fetched: One of Gaddafi’s sons, Al-Saadi Gaddafi, spent years trying to make it as a professional footballer before investing so much in Juventus that he was given a place on the board of directors in 2002 (he resigned from the board a year later). Al-Saadi also considered buying a stake in Liverpool at the same time, though the move never came to fruition.

Radovan Karadzic – Inter Milan: The Bosnian Serb war criminal was a fan of the Serie A giants due to their signing of Serbian players Sinisa Mihajlovi? and Dejan Stankovi?. His nephew told an Italian paper recently that while Karadzic was still a fugitive he risked arrest by going to watch matches.

Osama Bin Laden – Arsenal: Rumours claim that the Al Qaeda chief and mastermind of the 9/11 attacks became a fan of the north London club after watching matches at Highbury several times while visiting Britain as a teenager in the 1970s. He is also said to have bought one of his sons an Ian Wright replica shirt at one point, and Gunners fans took his supposed fandom well by creating a special chant: “Osama, woah-oh / Osama, woah-woah-woah-woah / He’s hiding in Kabul / He loves the Arsenal.”

General Franco – Real Madrid: The Spanish fascist leader was renowned as a fan of the Madrid club, so much so that the club came to be regarded by many almost as the official side of the regime and were referred to openly as ‘Franco’s pet team’. Yet it didn’t start out that way: Franco originally supported Real’s arch-rivals Atletico Madrid, originally an army side, and in fact his later support of Real was as much a case of the dictator jumping on the bandwagon to bask in the club’s glory in the early days of the European Cup, which they won the first five times it was played from 1956-1960.

Benito Mussolini – Bologna: The Italian fascist dictator was a staunch Bologna fan from the time they were formed in 1909; the side thrived after he came to power in 1922, winning the Italian title in 1925, 1929, 1936, 1937, 1939 and 1941. Indeed, the club’s neo-medieval stadium was heralded by Il Duce as a symbol of his beliefs, calling it, “a shining example of what can be done with the will and tenacity of Fascism.”

Josef Stalin – Dynamo Moscow: The club was set up by one of Stalin’s most loyal (and feared) henchmen, KGB chief Lavrenty Beria, and was effectively KGB United for several decades. Football was a big deal to Uncle Joe: when the USSR lost an Olympic match to Yugoslavia in 1952, a furious Stalin ordered the army’s CSKA Moscow team (which had supplied most of the players) to be disbanded.

Nicolae Ceausescu – Steaua Bucharest: The Romanian side was actually owned by the national army prior to the 1989 revolution, and Ceausescu supported and enabled the enforced transfer of players – among them Gheorghe Hagi and Gheorghe Popescu – to the club without the agreement of either the player or his original club. It was a policy that helped Steaua win the league for six consecutive seasons in the 1980s, collect the European Cup in 1986, and set a European record of 104 matches unbeaten in the league.


Big Brother Stargame Update:Mildred Encourages Angola’s Esperanca To Leave The House (Video)

Posted: 30 May 2012 01:40 PM PDT

Big Brother Stargame Update:Mildred Encourages Angola’s Esperanca To Leave The House (Video)

Esperanca of Angola

Mildred and Keitta pounced on an emotional and very confused Esperanca, after she tearfully relayed to them that Seydou was insisting that they stay in the House until Sunday.

Could they have spotted a golden opportunity to ensure that the competition is eliminated (after all this is a game) or are they just genuinely being concerned friends? After her tearful exit from the Diary Room, Esperanca told Mildred and Keitta about what had transpired in the Diary Room. Mildred went to work encouraging Esperanca to put her foot down and demand that she and Seydou leave, as soon as possible.

“You should have stood firm and told Big Brother in the Diary Room, that you want to leave. It’s not too late for you to walk out and go have a party with your son,” Mildred said. The Ghanaian lass went a step further, telling Esperanca that Seydou is very selfish and fake. “Don’t let this guy break up your relationship back home. Your husband misses you. You have gained a lot of exposure already, so it’s okay if you go,” she said.

Keitta also threw in his two cents worth, encouraging Esperanca to ring the Diary Room bell and talk to Big Brother about her desire to leave, behind Seydou’s back. “Ring the bell and pour your heart out. If you are afraid I can talk to Big Brother for you,” he said. Throughout the conversation, Esperanca looked even more confused than before and cracked an occasional smile when the two Ghanaian’s spoke about her son or husband.

WATCH VIDEO :

Loyalty is definitely out of the window when one half of a pair has absolutely no problem discussing their partner’s shortcomings with the competition.
Do you think Mildred and Keitta are genuinely concerned about their friend, or could this be a subtle strategy to ensure the competition is eliminated? Could these two be right about Seydou? Is he being selfish?


Prince William “Keen” to start family with Kate Middleton (Video)

Posted: 30 May 2012 01:30 PM PDT

Prince William “Keen” to start family with Kate Middleton (Video)

In a rare interview, Prince William gave ABC News the clearest sign yet that he and his wife Kate Middleton are planning to try for a baby soon.

In an interview to mark his grandmother's diamond jubilee – 60 years on the throne – the future king said starting a family is a top priority. Discussing his military plans, Prince William, who will himself turn 30 next month (Kate Middleton turned 30 this winter), told Katie Couric:

“More importantly, I'd rather like to have children. That's the key thing really.”

“But I'm just very keen to have a family and both Catherine and I, you know, are very much looking forward to having a family in the future.”

When asked whether there was anything he would like to announce, the prince said coyly: “You won't get anything out of me. Tight lipped.”

Fortunately, Couric didn’t overtly ask about the recent pregnancy rumors. William and brother his Prince Harry opened up during an interview at Clarence House in London for The Jubilee Queen, ABC’s special series on her.

watch video here


“Shackles” and “Secret Burden” to premiere in Kumasi

Posted: 30 May 2012 01:17 PM PDT

After several attempts to get Kumasi resuscitate and place it right on the map with regards to the fast fading pace of entertainment in the Garden City, Smarttys Management and productions, a Public Relations, Movie productions, Advertisements [radio, television and print], Documentaries, Magazine, Event Planning and Management is set to break the grounds for higher heights in the city. The management which seeks to bridge the gap will be parading all the movie celebrities to Kumasi for the premiere of two new amazing movies.

The much anticipated and awaited movies titled “Shackles” and “Secret Burden” will be premiered at the Golden Tulip, Kumasi City on Saturday June 9th 2012 at exactly 6pm after which patrons would have the chance to party with the celebrities at the Drive Night Club inside Golden Tulip.

The anticipated star studded event will see in attendance actors and actresses such as Jackie Appiah, Nadia Buari, John Dumelo, Selassie Ibrahim, Ekow Blankson, Beverly Afaglo amongst others from across the length and breadth of the country.


7 things women do that drive men mad

Posted: 30 May 2012 12:45 PM PDT

Annoying female habit 1: Making an anniversary out of everything

What is it with women turning the nice little things in life into a grand gift-exchanging, champagne-popping ceremony? We return home from a normal day at work to be met with a candle-lit dinner and an expensive looking gift but, quite frankly, it makes our heart stop. Have you done something wrong? Is it your birthday? My birthday? Oh silly me, it's the anniversary of the first time we looked at each other. Please refrain from doing this, ladies. We have a hard enough time getting event dates right without being shouted at for not buying the dog a card to celebrate the anniversary of his first vaccination.

Annoying female habit 2: Piling the bed with cushions

One would be mistaken for thinking that a bed is for sleeping in. We go to get our head down for the night, only to find the bed piled sky-high with strategically placed cushions that leave no room for us. What's more, only a couple of these cushions actually have a purpose. We don't need the tiny heart-shaped one or the big fluffy one that makes us sneeze – just a normal pillow to rest our head on will suffice. We don't adorn the bed with DIY tools and model cars, so please tame your OCD (Obsessive Cushion Disorder) and stop making an elaborate display out of our bed so we can get down to the important stuff.

couple on bed of cushions having pillow fightcouple on bed of cushions having pillow fight

Annoying female habit 3: Asking us what we're thinking

It's a classic example of how women like to test us, and possibly trick us into making the cardinal sin of admitting that we weren't thinking about her at that particular moment. One minute we're enjoying a cuddle, the next they're hurling that question at us when we're least expecting it. They say it so fast that we don't have chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads us to stutter and then be accused of thinking of our ex. Asking what we're thinking is basically a nice way of saying 'you aren't allowed to have private thoughts, unless they're about me'.

Annoying female habit 4: Saying 'I'm fine', when you're not happy

So she stood in front of the television while the football was on, we got a bit iffy and snapped, and now all sorts of issues have been bought up. Then she says it – that passive-aggressive statement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: "I'm fine". Erm, are you really fine because you've just screamed at us until you've gone red in the face, and now you're laying face down on the bed crying. If you're unhappy just outline the problem and then we can sort it out and carry on as normal. Or – even better – don't outline the problem and let us watch the football in peace.

Annoying female habit 5:  Using sex as a weapon

One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges. Some women seem to take great pleasure in using our weakness to their own advantage through the classic 'if you don't do this, we're not having sex' scenario. If you're going to stop us from doing one thing, please don't let it be sex. We don't stop you from eating and drinking, so please don't mess with our basic human needs either.

Annoying female habit 6: Being over-emotional

You cry at funerals, you cry at weddings, you cry at happy films, you cry at sad films. This makes us feel awkward because we just don't know what to say or do when you're sat sobbing all over our freshly ironed shirt. Where do all these tears come from? We think women should just have an annual crying day where they get together and cry for twenty four hours, before coming home and being normal for the other 364 days of the year. It would solve a lot of our problems.

Annoying female habit 7: Incessant talking

We've heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the competitive part of a multi-player game with our friends, she just won't shut up about how cute the neighbour's cat looks when it sits next to the rose bush. To make it even more annoying, the actual part of the story she was getting at whilst rambling on about the neighbour's cat, was that the cat's owner now works at the grocery store down the road. Ladies, if you're going to talk, pick the right moment and please, just get to the point.

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